Posted by: Jenny Davidow | August 26, 2015

Dreaming of My First Love

Maybe your first love was years, even decades ago.  But somehow, this early love sneaks back into your dreams even now and tugs on your heart.  You didn’t realize there were such deep wells of tenderness, or regret, hidden away inside you.  Sometimes the dreams repeat and repeat.  Sometimes you wake up with tears and a heavy heart.  What does it mean?

People are often confused when they dream of the past, or it seems like a memory of someone, or a wish fulfillment kind of dream. We tend to take such dreams literally, as in “I’m just remembering my ex,” or “I wish I could see him/her again.”

But our dream wisdom has much more to say than the literal meaning our conscious mind wants to assign to such dreams.

Whenever we dream, our subconscious is wisely choosing what, who and when – in order to send us a message that can help us in our present life. How does that work, you may ask?

So, for example, you’re dreaming about your first love, from years ago. You’re remembering what made him/her so special. You’re remembering how you pushed her away and didn’t appreciate her till it was too late.

In dreams, your deeper wisdom is using the symbol of your lady love, and the memory of what was lovely as well as what went so wrong, to bring a lesson to you that is timely for your present life and relationships.

Is there a way that you are learning (or still need to learn) to appreciate tender and affectionate love when it is offered to you?

Or even more deeply, is there a way you are learning (or still need to learn) to be more vulnerable and bring some tenderness and affection to yourself and others?

Or is there a way in which you are still pushing that dear part of yourself (or someone else) away?

For many of us, it’s a “work in progress” all our lives to overcome a deep fear and learn to trust ourselves enough to offer tender love, as well as to receive it.  We need to get to know our own vulnerability and to accept both the beauty and the risk.  It’s like there are two parts of us: one that deeply hungers for love, and the other part which wants to run away from the risk.

In my book, Embracing Your Subconscious, I provide steps to help you dialogue between these parts of you, to work through this inner conflict and more easily become friends with that vulnerable and tender part of yourself. Check out my book excerpt on my website. You can also buy the book as an ebook, or other products for understanding dreams, at my webstore.

Lastly, simply daydreaming and imagining a more satisfying conclusion to your dreams of an ex can really make a difference. This is a form of “lucid dreaming” while awake. Your subconscious understands and remembers the positive images and healthier alternatives you imagine with all your senses – seeing, feeling, and hearing an outcome that feels healing.

You might, for example, imagine telling your ex how you feel as you remember him/her now, at this point in your life. Tell him/her what you appreciated about him/her. For example, tell her how you’d like to have changed your response to her.

Then imagine interacting with your ex in just the way that you would like: Imagine being more vulnerable and affectionate – and feeling comfortable at the same time. Try this over a period of days or weeks, and you’ll most likely no longer need to have sad or recurring dreams about your ex.

And the most wonderful benefit of all this is that, while awake, you will probably start to feel more in touch with yourself.  Without even planning it, you may become more willing to express these tender parts of yourself that before seemed shut off or lost in the past.

Copyright (C) 2015 by Jenny Davidow

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